newborn photoshoot.

ella had some newborn pictures taken at 10 days old. i'm so glad we ended up having courtney irene-marie photography take these photos for us. she did a beyond amazing job!

 

 

birth story.

ella rose davidson joined us a month earlier than we expected her. 

she was nameless up until the moment we were discharged from our five day hospital stay, when we had to turn in the birth certificate paperwork. now we see that no other name would suit her and i'm glad we waited to settle on something until we met her.

having her a month early was absolutely terrifying, especially since we didn't have any idea if something serious was wrong with her or me.

but, she is perfect. and here is the story:

{tmi warning: i do mention the word 'cervix'}

i had a routine ultrasound and doctor's appointment scheduled for my 36 week milestone. for some reason, i just really felt i needed jack to go with me. he was able to arrange it with his rotation to take the morning off and come with me. the day before the appointment, my doctor's office called and said their ultrasound machine was broken and they asked if they could reschedule for the following week. since jack had already arranged the time off, and he started a new rotation the following monday {i didn't want him to ask for time off on a new rotation}, i asked if they could please find us an appointment at another location on the same day where we could just send the results to my doctor. after all day back and forth on the phone, they found an appointment for us at an alternative imaging center for the original date. yay!

  we had my doctor's appointment first thing in the morning. nothing out of the ordinary, just a few paranoid pregnancy questions for my doctor. he said he would read the results of the ultrasound, and we probably wouldn't hear anything from him right away if all looked normal. we could go over the results at the following week's appointment. we were in and out in 15 minutes.

we headed over to the imaging center for our ultrasound. the tech mentioned that my doctor had ordered a biophysical profile, which is an analysis in addition to the routine sizing ultrasound normally done at 36 weeks. she asked us if we knew why he had ordered this. i had no idea. up until that point, i was told by everyone that my pregnancy was totally healthy, one hundred percent normal, no news was good news. she said there was a note on the order that said my baby was "measuring big." the results of the routine ultrasound estimated her to be measuring a week ahead {37 weeks} and 6 lbs plus or minus a pound. i had heard that these ultrasound estimates are wildly inaccurate. nothing to worry about and my doctor probably wouldn't even change my due date.

well, jack and i were normal giddy parents through the ultrasound, being totally ridiculous and just marveling at her perfect little spine and feet and all the little movements on the screen. the tech was being really quiet. i just chalked it up to the fact that techs aren't really supposed to say much about what they find. she asked if i was feeling the baby move a lot today. once i thought about it, the baby really hadn't been moving much that morning. i thought maybe it was because it had been so long since i had breakfast. or maybe i was dehydrated. hmm. anyway, the tech went back to her measuring, saying "well, we have 15 minutes left. ok, ten minutes left. huh. ok, 5 minutes." during the biophysical profile, she was measuring fluid around the baby, and all these other little things, like the amount of times the baby moved and how many practice respirations she could count {diaphragm movements}. we wrapped things up when we were "out of time" and left the center. she kind of smiled and said, well i can't say anything, let's just see what the radiologist says...okayyyy. again, we didn't think anything of it...thought it was a liability thing. i haaad to have sonic for lunch, so jack took me to one down the street and i had the most glorious meal: a cheeseburger, tater tots, and a strawberry cookie dough milk shake. who am i?? our plan was to go home, rest a bit, and head over later to our friends' {rachel & dan} for taco night. i was also going to pack my and jack's hospital bags. i had already packed a baby bag, but was slowly chipping away at all the other pre-baby to-do tasks, and this was on the agenda for that day. i was supposed to have a month.

on the way home, my phone rang and it was my doctor's cell phone. my heart dropped.

it turns out the tech counted zero diaphragm movements, and fluid was only one fifth of what it should have been. because of the low fluid, she had low oxygen. that in turn was making her movements slow and preventing her from practicing her breathing movements. she scored 4 out of 8 on this biophysical profile test, which basically means the baby is in distress and prompts for immediate delivery. ummmmmm omg. my ears started ringing. we were literally driving home from the appointment and lunch. jack pulled over and took the phone from me. he asked the doctor if he could ask some questions. doctor said there would be time for questions at the hospital, but we needed to go to labor & delivery right now. he could see that we were flustered and not processing the severity of the situation. he tried to explain again and broke it down to us like this: there is 99.9% chance you are having a baby today. go to l&d and have a non-stress test. if the baby passes the test, kate can be induced. if the baby doesn't pass, we need to do an immediate c section. holy cow. ok. good thing we didn't reschedule the scan for the next week, and thank the Lord that jack came to this appointment with me and i wasn't by myself.

doctor asked us if we had a bag...haha, nooooooo. but i did have a six page print out on my counter with items highlighted that i intended to pack that afternoon. doctor said, no time for bags, go to hospital now.

4pm on january 30th: we turned around and headed to labor & delivery, totally unprepared. in workout clothes. with no bags. i called my dad in tears to tell him what was happening. all i could think was whether my baby was ok and how totally unprepared i was. i felt like i was dreaming. it was sort of an out of body experience.

i imagined going into delivery practically skipping with jack, with my hair washed and done, makeup on {complete with waterproof mascara}, bag in tow with all my necessities that would make my hospital stay super comfy {like slippers and pillow and eye mask}, a perfect mani and cute toes. noooope. haha annnd, i had nothing. my house was a mess. the baby room wasn't done. stuff everywhere. i needed to vacuum and scrub bathrooms. i was supposed to have another MONTH!

new goal: nobody die.

we got to the hospital and in labor & delivery triage they hooked me up to a non-stress test to monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. what the heck, i was having contractions and i just couldn't feel them yet. baby's heart looked good. the doctor came by and did a cervical check {which by the way hurts like a bizzle}. imagine your doctor jamming his giant dry gloved man hand up there. i totally cried out in surprise and pain. the nurse told me later that sometimes the doctors are a little rougher with this check when they want to "get things moving and start labor." don't get me wrong, he's really nice and usually very gentle, but there is just no way to prepare for that check when you aren't dilated. he noticed there was some fluid there before the check, hmmm. he tested it for amniotic fluid and it was positive! turns out my water had broken {slow leak} and i didn't know it. i was relived to have an explanation as to why she was in distress. with this being the case, he needed to get the baby out, but since she passed her non-stress test, i could be induced and be allowed to labor for as long as her and my bodies would tolerate it before turning to a c section. because i had a leak in my water, both she and i were exposed to infection. both of us were at risk now, so she needed to come out asap. 

5pm january 30th: they gave me an oral medicine to get my cervix ready for labor. upon admission, i was only 2cm, 50% effaced. once dad came, jack left for a little bit to go home and get our baby bag and some essentials. you should have heard me telling him over the phone what makeup brushes of mine to pack. super embarassing.

11pm january 30th: took another dose of the cervix stuff. nothing was happening. they wheeled in a bed for jack to get some sleep. i didn't sleep much at all because nurses kept coming in all night and checking on me, changing iv bags, etc. because of the exposure due to my leaking water, they pumped 8 bags of penicillin into my poor body over the course of the delivery. needless to say i'm now taking probiotics to get both of our systems back on track.

morning january 31st: they started the pitocin. omg that stuff is like getting hit by a train. the contractions got really painful at only 3.5cm. maybe i'm just a baby, but pretty quickly, it got to the point where i was having to breathe through them without talking. i think it hurt so much because my body was being pushed and not allowed to progress naturally. i weighed the pros and cons of waiting for an epidural with my nurse and doctor. why should i sit here in pain? i wanted to be calm and relaxed so i could remember this birth. i wanted to get some rest after being in pain all night. the only con i could think of was that i was terrified of nerve damage and that it wouldn't work. that might happen whether i waited or not, so i opted to order the epi at 3.5 cm {which is a good thing because little did i know i had about a full day to go with these contractions}. the anesthesiologist came in. they all prepped me for the procedure. they had me lean over a table with my back open. he said "start breathing like you are hyperventilating." i did and all of a sudden it felt like he threw a dart in my back and was injecting pressure and fluid into my spinal cavity. i started flipping out shaking and crying. this was by far the most difficult part of my whole labor. it was the weirdest worst feeling ever having something going in my spine. i even had a meltdown a few minutes after he left because a pillow was touching the site where the hose was going in my spine and i thought it was tearing and was going to leave me paralyzed. spines freak me out. anyway, once it started to work, my mind changed. pretty much i remember telling everyone who came in my room that everyone should have an epidural all the time. i could still move everything, but my contractions vanished. i finally got some sleep.

evening january 31st: family came to visit. it was so nice to have some familiar faces there with us. baby was doing great on the monitor and i was in my epidural happy place. they even gave me a fentanyl pain button for breakthrough pain. my epidural was so good i didn't even need it until the end. i found i am not one of those women that needs to prove anything to myself or others about laboring naturally, or needing to "feel what birth feels like." the epi allowed me to just laugh and talk with my family and friends and enjoy the whole experience. it was magical.

late evening january 31st: had my twenty thousandth cervical check. since the epi, i didn't mind them anymore because i couldn't feel them, haha. my pitocin was cranked up to the max dose before getting a doctor's order to increase it, but for some reason my body wasn't progressing. when they checked me again, the nurse found that there was another part of my water that needed to be broken, and that's why my labor was stuck at 3.5cm for the last 12 hours. they had an on-call doctor come in and break that {with a knitting needle looking thing} and finally things started progressing quickly. this allowed baby to drop down into the birth canal and get moving. in a matter of hours, i went from 3.5cm to 10cm. just as jack took a break to go up to the cafe to grab some dinner, it was time to push.  literally a matter of five minutes! someone ran to get him.

11:30pm january 31st: the nurse called my doctor, but said we should start pushing now so he could see we had been doing some work before he got there, haha. she said we could be pushing for three hours. well, i pushed once, and she said ok, stop. the baby has hair! i guess baby was a little closer to coming out than we thought!

11:45pm january 31st: my doctor arrived, nicu was standing by {since baby was a 36 week late pre-term baby}, jack was holding my hand. then my doctor asked me if i wanted to choose her birthday. did i want her to be born on january 31st, or february 1st? at first i thought he was joking, but he was totally serious. i told him that i thought february 1st was a way cuter birthday, and could i really wait? i loved the idea of her birthday being on the first day of a fresh month. i love february. the month of love! so, selfish me made the whole dang place wait for 15 minutes until midnight. hahahah. it's sort of a fog because i was so deliriously tired and drugged, but i remember we talked about names for our nameless baby, how hilarious it would be if we named her my german maiden name {schnaible}, all the mispronunciations it has had in the past, and tons of other nonsense. at midnight exactly i started pushing.

12:04am february 1st: after 31 hours of labor, baby ella rose davidson was born in 5 pushes. again, props to my amazing anesthesiologist because i did not feel one bit of pain during delivery {just pressure}, or my massive tear {sorry, tmi}.

after that was a blur. nicu did their assessment and concluded she didn't have to be admitted and she could come up to recovery with us yay!! she was really purple and the cord was wrapped once around her little neck. a few minutes went by and she started improving, then i finally heard a cry. and i was totally instantly in love. they then let me have some skin on skin time and try to nurse her a little bit. i was sooo out of it. they gave me some pain pills to take the edge off while the epi was filtering out of my system and let me tell you, it was horrible mixing all that garbage in my body. i just felt like i had tunnel vision and everyone was all echo-y. i asked the nurse to make sure i wasn't hemorrhaging or something. eek. she showed me my monitors and said see, you are ok. it's just the medicine. it will wear off in a little bit.

then they wheeled us up to our recovery room, where this evil nurse made me stay awake and sign a bunch of stuff. i had no idea what i was signing. they could show up any day now and take my organs for all i know. she just said "i know you are tired, but i need you to pay attention and listen." uhhh ok, sorry lady. i haven't slept in 48 hours, just endured the most physically exhausting event ever experienced in my life, and you've got me on all kinds of drugs. she even said "i don't mind showing you this one time, but after that, you need to do it." whatever, evil wench. my baby slept all night that night, jack slept on his daddy pullout, and i did my best to get some rest, too. all of the other nurses were lovely. they really made us feel cared for and safe. they came any time we were concerned. i had a few meltdowns about ella's nursing {and have had them since}. they totally helped us get through it.

3pm february 4th: we were discharged after they were sure that neither of us were getting an infection and that baby ella {since she was early} had no other problems. i seriously had the most magical labor | delivery | recovery. everyone at the hospital {besides the first evil nurse in recovery} was over the top kind and funny and caring. one even hugged me when i cried. they even helped us by voting on their favorite name on our white board of name candidates. we finally decided that ella rose was the only name that suited her. she was just so itzy and fancy. none of the other names we were thinking about fit her at all. i'm so glad we waited to meet her until we chose a name. everything was perfect. we just couldn't be happier. i kept asking jack if post partum euphoria was a thing.

our childbirth classes were scheduled for the following weekend. oopsies.

i'm totally sleep deprived and don't have the energy to proof read this. i wanted to get the details out before i forgot even just one! congrats if you actually made it to the end!