there is loads of info out there on how to get through fertility, pregnancy, and labor...but no one ever talks about recovery after having a baby!! seriously, i barely thought twice about it. i thought, i'm getting an epidural, done and done. then i get to bring my baby home and we'll live happily ever afterrrrrrrr.
wrong.
recovering from birth was harder than pregnancy and labor combined {for me}. i know there are lots of women out there that probably won't agree with me. maybe it was because i'm a wuss and got a fabulous epidural, but for meeeee, recovery & coping for the first few weeks with a new baby absolutely blew. don't get me wrong, i loved ella from the very start. i just wasn't expecting such an adjustment period for myself towards myself.
here are some things that helped me through it:
1. drugs
i was not expecting my whole body to radiate in pain for weeks after having ella. i did tear, so that was part of it. but everyyyything hurt. i had monster cramps every time i fed ella {uterus going back to normal size}. my hips hurt from pushing a semi truck through them. my core & pelvic floor were destroyed and trying to reconnect...despite hours of pre-natal pilates & kegels that didn't seem to do a darn thing ughhh. my boobies were raw from ella wanting to hoover them every five seconds. my hormones were going haywire so at some point, even my heart hurt, how rediculous is that?! i was in pain all. the. time. no breaks. so the doctor sent me home with ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and hydrocodone. and i took it 'round the clock, all of it. i didn't look back and it was the silver lining that took the edge off it all.
another thing no one tells you is how freaking hard breastfeeding is. what the heck?! i've been to college, worked in corporate america, been through tax seasons & the cpa exam, gotten hubby through medical school...let me tell you: breastfeeding is the single hardest thing i've ever done. but everyone just talks about how great it is!! well, maybe no one is honest because they are afraid no one will do it. it hurts. people say, "oh bfing shouldn't hurt if the latch is right." bologna. there is an adjustment period where your poor nips are getting callused regardless of how unicorn-like your baby's latch is. and that's not comfy. i'm so stubborn and refused to give up. i thought, if billions of women can do this, i can, too, dangit.
i ended up with a wound that wouldn't heal on one side. i finally did a round of antibiotics despite no topical evidence of infection, and it started to slooowwwly heal after two months. ella can finally eat on that side {i still have a little pain on that side, but i can tell that it is going away as i heal}. before that, i would cry every time she latched on. it hurt down to my bones 24/7. i had to pump that side and feed her by bottle the remainder each feeding if she was still hungry. it required such physical and emotional stamina when i was already exhausted. i'm surprised i made it. if it weren't for my lactation consultant {which every girl needs if you decide to BF} and weekly support group meetings at my hospital, i would have quit. now that i'm healing and both ella and i learned what the heck we are doing, i'm so glad i didn't quit.
it kind of just clicked at 7 weeks. now, there is no bottle washing or formula prepping. and the money savings! it's wonderful. especially in the middle of the night when i don't have to leave my cozy bed to feed her. and i know we are both getting amazing benefits from it...including me losing all my baby weight in the first month {with the exception of 5 lbs, which i attribute to nursing reserves haha}. now i even enjoy it and so does ella. it's actually beautiful.
so long story short, there is this stuff called APNO that you can get a prescription for if you are ready to throw in the towel. it's a compounded ointment that wards off bacteria, fungus, and reduces inflammation. sounds gross, but it is heaven. it's expensive {mine was $60 and insurance doesn't cover it}, but so worth it if you have nipple soreness. you don't have to wash it off before feedings because baby just passes it all right through. way better than all the over the counter junk i tried. now that i'm used to BFing, i can use the generic otc organic stuff, but it took me a while and a lot of pain to get here. the APNO helped me in the meantime.
if you had a v-birth...for down under for the obvious reasons {esp on stitches}. very soothing while your body is trying to heal.
burn them after you are done with them, whatever you want. but for the first few weeks, you'll want something high waist-ed that will keep the ginormous pad in place day & night. lifestyles of the rich & famous, right?
unless you can take home a whole package of disposable undies from the hospital, these are a must for the first four weeks.
5. netflix
you are going to be up at all hours. unless you want to stare into space or at the wall in your post partum, hormonal, sleep deprived delirium, netflix is a must.
parenthood was one of my favorites to watch. all six seasons of it. at least i could direct my irrational tears towards some sort of plot!
also good ones: orange is the new black, call the midwife, private practice, and grey's anatomy.
All of this is so true and you are not alone on any of those feelings. It's just taboo and not discussed openly enough. Luckily I had Ashley Felts and Megan Crawford and Jenny Deason to talk to. I am happy to talk if you ever want.
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