photoshoot.

i'm sort of in love with the matte style of photography. also, we planned our wedding in one month in 2010, so we just simply did not have time for engagement pictures. so, moral of the story, the only professional pictures we have ever had taken of us are in wedding attire. although those pictures are super special, i "needed" more. haha. define need.

we needed to have photos taken while we lived in the bay to capture 

"the san francisco era"

the lovely christina from whitaker portraits met us at one of her favorite locations in the south bay. needless to say, i think she did an amazing job. and we had a lot of fun!

 

tiny disclaimer: 

these photos were taken in november & i was seven weeks pregnant. unfortunately, just a week later {on the afternoon of my first official doctor's appointment}, we lost our baby. that was an incredible trial for both of us. as a huge believer in plans and such, i didn't think i would be so sad if the pregnancy didn't work out. come on, there is a plan, and i'm just along for the ride, right!? then it became a reality. let me tell you, it was really sad. like, really freaking sad. i'm doing better now, though. good enough to talk about it without bursting into tears like a crazy person.

consequently, we found out that we would be moving to washington at the exact time the baby would have been due. we completely trust in God's plan for us and now find much comfort in knowing that the timing was off and we will have a family in perfect timing. just like everything else.

i think it's weird when people don't discuss hardships. life isn't all sunshine and sparkly unicorns. so that may have been tmi, but i think it's worse to keep things inside, be super secretive, and let pain fester. at first, i couldn't speak about it without breaking down. okay, let's be honest. i couldn't even think of it without breaking down. mornings were the hardest because i would open my eyes first thing, and for that split second, forget what had happened. then i would relive the loss and remember the reality and again my heart would break. and then i'd force myself to get out of bed, get ready, get on the bus {with another hour of excruciating alone time to sit and think}, and go put on a strong face at work. 

but...as the weeks passed, not talking about it left this huge hole in my heart. it's amazing: on the occasions that people have asked, and i have shared, i have been finding out that that person has gone through something really similar, or been close to someone that has. that connection has really helped the healing process for me. so, thank you for letting me share with all of you what happened. against your own will, haha.

hopefully things didn't just get weird. haha. the good news is...you don't have to read my blog again if you feel completely violated! 

exciting announcement.

jack and i will be moving to tacoma, washington in may!

he was accepted to an amazing externship program, where he will attend his fourth year of medical school.

{photo by the amazing christina whitaker}.

i just gave work my five month notice, so now we can start discussing this exciting news with the rest of the world. first and foremost, i wanted to give my firm the respect that they deserve by telling them first... before blabbing about how

f r e a k i n g  e x c i t e d 

we are!

like i mentioned...i gave notice this morning. i thought i was going to die of a panic attack before it happened. my eye has been twitching for days. i was having chest pain about the mere thought of totally jumping out of my comfort zone of my nice cushy job with a direct deposit paycheck every two weeks with fabulous benefits...onto a big fat question mark that represents our future. i even wore glitter eye shadow in hopes that i could subliminally suggest to my boss that this was positive news. in the words of my friend coco...who can get mad at glitter eye shadow?! right?! all in all, it went well. my boss was disappointed, but glad that i was giving her such generous notice so that she can plan who was going to take over my hideous monster engagements. i mean engagements that offer the riveting opportunity to learn and grow. then i told my co-workers. all of them are super supportive and happy for us. phew.  

anyways...

we will move at the end of may, as his program starts in june!

then his where-a-bouts will go something like this:

August

Memorial Hospital of Rhode Island 

(Pawtucket, RI; Affiliation - Alpert School of Medicine at Brown University)

September

Veteran's Affairs - Miami

(Miami, FL)

October

Veteran's Affairs - Eastern Colorado Health Care System 

(Denver, CO)

November

Veteran's Affairs - Southern Arizona 

(Tuscon, AZ)

December

Scripps Mercy Kaiser Program 

(San Diego, CA; Affiliation - University of California - San Diego)

...then he comes home to me and our kitties to rotate the rest of the year in tacoma and possibly rotating through an affiliated program in seattle, as well.

what will i be doing, you ask? 

oh nothing, just being a stay at home wifey. making pot roast. sewing quilts. bedazzling things. wearing red lipstick and baking cookies. vacuuming in heels. chopping organic vegetables.

the usual.

i am sooo excited about God's plan for our little lives. out of all the places in the country, He sent us to a place where i will have my family and friends' support while jack is away during those five months. i've always only prayed for one thing: to have all the people i love in one place. and the Lord saw it fit to bless me with a YES in His perfect timing. even if it is only for one year. i'll take it. if this isn't the absolute best testimony of how He can work in your life too, i don't know what else there is.
...
{to clarify: by "all the people" i'm referring to my family + friends + husband......there are tons of people i love that are not in the pacific northwest. this old prayer i'm talking about is the one i used to pray about every day in college when i knew i couldn't have jack + my family living together in one geographical location and all the torment that has caused me over the years.}
...

the hardest thing about this journey {for me...obvi jack's biggest challenge is school} is to be away from those i love. and i'm so so so happy that when i lose my best friend and my love of my life for five months, i get to be with those that i have been missing for so long.

something i thought i'd never be able to say again:

i'm coming home, daddy!

yay!!!